Fool's Luck
“Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves.”
I just learned who this guy was and fuck me, he had it right. Overlook the small things long enough and eventually the big things topple you.
We all grasp for symbolic things. I've spent a decent chunk of my life thinking that I had instant fortune every time I reached for a heads-up penny. I forgot within twenty seconds every time, that I was suddenly imbued with only the equivalent of a "Mario Kart" power up. Those twenty seconds were bliss every single time. And every second of that bliss was robbery. I was fucked. Nearby gratification was only just dangled carrots. Fucked by the small print like it was a variable rate loan.
“Find a penny, pick it up. All day long, you’ll have good luck.”
Yeah, a piece of the foundation of my universe came crumbling down today when I heard the actual bullshit penny quote on an episode of Louie C.K.'s show. Turns out, get this, that the luck gained from a heads-up penny only lasts for a day. That's fucking it. Pick that cent up at 10:30PM and be expected to make moves quick. I just got off a nine hour shift and am now suppose to manifest my fucking destiny before midnight hits like I'm Cinderella? I was told that if I pick up this piece of shit change that it would actually, in the most literal sense, bring me change. I'm talking cumulative dreams. I needed this luck to multiply based off quantity of pennies picked up. I didn't know my shit turned into a pumpkin at midnight when I'm still barely getting off work. Let alone, turns out that tails up isn't even that bad. Talk about questioning right versus wrong. How many pennies have I passed up simply because they were tails up? I feel like going down these kind of roads leads to people sacrificing goats. Shit, I'd fuck up a goat right now.
P.S. It also turns out that when you see the thing tails up, you're suppose to flip it so that the next person has good luck. Even though I'm compelled to help out my fellow mental-slave, I can't do it. I mean...I'm not going to pick up the penny, I don't need that voodoo. But I refuse to flip it and send someone else down my solemn and dark path. Keep walking, homie.
